This blog carries a trigger warning. Proceed with caution.

PLEASE READ THE FAQ AND HELP PAGE BEFORE ANSWERING! We can not stress that enough. It will save all of us time and trouble. Also, please do not say "sorry" for asking a question. We are here to answer what you have to say, do not apologise for doing a good thing for yourself. Thank you.

This is a blog dedicated to those that cut, pinch, bite, burn, bruise, and use other forms of self harm.

This is a safe area for people to vent, express themselves, and even get some advice from our team of lovely Admins. Most importantly, this is for all those that suffer from self harm to feel less alone, that others care, that others understand.

Anybody can submit a problem through either the Ask or Submit boxes. Please understand that we are not always on, if you are in crisis, please call a hotline, the police, your parents, etc.
I've tried getting help like counciling but all I want is my old life back it seemed all most perfect compared to what it is now, Is there any techniques to stop the self harming?

Counselling is a very good good way to slowly go back to your old life! If Counselling doesnt work, maybe think about switching the counsellor.
I think melody posted a link already about stopping self harm a few asks ago, feel free to scroll down to find the ask and the link to it :)
-chi

I couldn't do it anymore. I was two months clean and went back harming. I did it during school and felt like a junkie. But I can't do this anymore. I'm sad and numb.

Im really sorry you relapsed and i hope you are okay.
Do you have someone to talk to about that? Like someone in person? If not, maybe think about reaching out for professional help.
Collect some energy and wait until you are ready to restart again. 2 months are really awesome. But what do you think abou 2months and 1 day? ♥ -chi

I honestly just give up, I can't cope I don't want to tell anyone about the depression and self harming because people will think I'm looking for attention after loosing my dad is just haven't been the same they only things that help is self harming and I can't hide the scars for much longer and I know if I tell my mom she'll kick me out and say I'm silly!

No. Self harm wont help. Not at all. Doing damage to your beautiful self wont help you at all. How are cuts and burns are supposed to get your life in the right direction? They wont make anything better, at the end are they just useless damage we have done to ourselves. The time we spent on taking tools on our skin and ruining it is away, we cant take it back. We could have reached for professional help in this time, sleep, eat, study, talk to other people. But we just added cuts in our skin. Its so senseless and stupid if we think about it.
You deserve to get help. You dont have to tell other people in your school or work, but please think about going to your personal doctor and tell him about your struggles. And your mum wont kick you out if you reach for help. Really.
-chi

My dad cheated on my mom. She says she's depressed. Now she tells me she doesn't need me and i make her life to a nightmare. I feel so worthless bc i'm the depressed one and I cut again after 5 months. She doesn't even care about me. I hate myself.

"Bc im the depressed one"
And your mum got cheated at and its understandable that she is probably depressed too.
I can understand that her words hurt you- and doesnt matter in how much pain she is she shouldnt talk to you like that. Tell ger that you think her behaviour is unacceptable and that it is not your fault your dad did shit to her.
Take your time to talk to her, but please dont forget that she is the hurt one too.
-chi

I have a few friends who cut and honestly, I envy their cuts. They're always better hidden, deeper, longer, I don't know, even the way they scar are better than the way mine do.. is it wrong to see it this way?

Yes and no.
No because its the freaking mindset of a self harmer, and yes- because its totally wrong and you should never start a competition with your mental illnesses.
It does not matter at all how deep or well hidden the cuts of your friends are. The hidden part isnt even the problem. Hiding your cuts isnt really that problem. I think its crazy that you can even ‘envy’ someone about the way they hide their injuries. Thats weird.
I was in the same situation and i can understand what you mean and i am not judgmental, but if it is triggering to you, maybe think about leaving the friendship a bit behind, or ask her to be more careful in what she does and says or what so ever. I did that too and it helped a lot.
-chi

To the person asking about their cuts being enough: I can say from experience, they'll NEVER be good enough. Mine got worse and worse and deeper and deeper and it was never enough. That disordered voice in my head was always telling me they weren't enough.You've got to realize that the disordered voice is never going to be satisfied. The only thing to do is get out of the habit and develop other healthy coping skills. Feel free to chat with me about anything, I'd love to help if I can at all! :)
Same person who sent that one about finding my cuts pathetic: Can you help me in some way to be satisfied with the cuts I make? I want to go deeper but I know I shouldn't, however I am never satisfied anymore. Sorry if this is a bad question :(

Cook. Knit. Do sports. Paint. Do everything else instead of trying to satisfy your cuts. Thats a bad idea, like cutting deep.
If you find something else that satisfies you, its better and more effective, trust me.
Take a look at our alternative list, and watch some youtube cooking videos ? :)
-chi

I feel like my SI doesn't need to be addressed because it isn't nearly as bad as other people's. I only cut into the subcutaneous layer and I find that pathetic. I have a problem reaching out because I think people will say it is just superficial. :(

Well. Whats so important about the depth or even the quantity of the cuts? IT DOES NOT MATTER. What matters (!) Is the fact that you felt so much pain that you hurt yourself.
Saying that you shouldnt be sad- because other people have it worse is like Saying “im not allowed to he happy because other People are happier.”
-chi

How can we know if we have any mental illness ? (I think I might have depression, anxiety or pstd) but I can't tell it to my parents because they say im doing for attention (I told them that I might suffer from pstd and they told me to get over it.)

The only way you can truly know is by an official diagnosis. You can read up on what you think you may have, take little “quizzes”, talk to people that have had an official dx of something, but you can’t honestly know until you see a doctor. Something are pretty obvious like depression and would probably be right if you assumed you had that, but you may actually have cyclothalmia or Bipolar II. And the more complicated your symptoms, the more complicated the diagnosis process is becuase of all the different interactions and nuances. There is a reason doctors have to suffer through about sixish years of medical school with another three to four of residencies if they are lucky.

If your parents are not listening, I’d try talking to a councillor and asking them to help you. Also do your research and try to put up a compelling case to at least see a doctor. If you have to use power point to do it, then make the best presentation ever. And perhaps instead of saying “I think I have PTSD” just tell them your symptoms, what is bothering you, etc. 

~Devin

I would've been 10 months clean on the 28th, but tonight I relapsed. Its only 2 cuts on my ankle but I feel like a failure. I've had to do it on my ankle this time so no one would notice. Is it bad that I don't want anyone to know that I'm cutting again?

No, it’s not inherently bad: it’s natural. Reactions of that sort are probably the first and most common response to such situations. You should, however, attempt to reach out and tell somebody about what happened so you can get help. Hiding from your issues and not letting anybody know prevents your support system from doing it’s job. People would much rather know that you relapsed and that you need a little push then to be lied to and completely blind sided when things spiral out of control. It’s best to prevent a full on relapse right now before your slip turns into something worse.

~Devin

Does smoking is consider "self injury"

Generally no. NonSuicidal Self Injury is purposeful self inflicted harm to the body for stress relief, etc. Smoking is something you do to relax, is enjoyable, is an addiction, but the harmfulness is simply a side effect.

I guess that /technically/ smoking may possibly be considered NSSI if and only if the smoking is done solely becuase of an attempt to damage oneself. BUT it’s generally still considered not NSSI.

————————

Nonsuicidal Self-lnjuiy (Proposed Criteria) From the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders - 5 (APA, 2013)

A. In the last year, the individual has, on 5 or more days, engaged in intentional self-inflicted damage to the surface of his or her body of a sort likely to induce bleeding, bruising, or pain (e.g., cutting, burning, stabbing, hitting, excessive rubbing), with the expectation that the injury will lead to only minor or moderate physical harm (i.e., there is no suicidal intent).

Note: The absence of suicidal intent has either been stated by the individual or can be inferred by the individual’s repeated engagement in a behaviour that the individual knows, or has learned, is not likely to result in death.

B. The individual engages in the self-injurious behaviour with one or more of the following expectations:

  1. To obtain relief from a negative feeling or cognitive state.
  2. To resolve an interpersonal difficulty.
  3. To induce a positive feeling state.

Note: The desired relief or response is experienced during or shortly after the self injury, and the individual may display patterns of behaviour suggesting a dependence on repeatedly engaging in it.

C. The intentional self-injury is associated with at least one of the following:

  1. Interpersonal difficulties or negative feelings or thoughts, such as depression, anxiety, tension, anger, generalized distress, or self-criticism, occurring in the period immediately prior to the self-injurious act.
  2. Prior to engaging in the act, a period of preoccupation with the intended behaviour that is difficult to control.
  3. Thinking about self-injury that occurs frequently, even when it is not acted upon.

D. The behaviour is not socially sanctioned (e.g., body piercing, tattooing, part of a religious or cultural ritual) and is not restricted to picking a scab or nail biting.

E. The behaviour or its consequences cause clinically significant distress or interference in interpersonal, academic, or other important areas of functioning.

F. The behaviour does not occur exclusively during psychotic episodes, delirium, substance intoxication, or substance withdrawal. In individuals with a neurodevelopmental disorder, the behaviour is not part of a pattern of repetitive stereotypes. The behaviour is not better explained by another mental disorder or medical condition (e.g., psychotic disorder, autism spectrum disorder, intellectual disability, Lesch-Nyhan syndrome, stereotypic movement disorder with self injury, trichotillomania [hair-pulling disorder], excoriation [skin-picking] disorder).

————————-

~Devin

little things that help ease symptoms of depression:

  • turn the lights on and open a window
  • eat something healthy and drink ice cold water
  • find a comforting album to listen to whenever things get bad
  • take a long, relaxing bath
  • do yourself up in full make up and hair
  • be around people, even if you don’t think it will help
  • watch something funny on netflix
  • wear your favorite/most comfortable outfit
  • immerse yourself in a hobby like drawing
  • lose yourself in a really good book or movie

(Source: tempeh-princess, via mentalillnessmouse)

rosydrops:

Cleaning
clean bathroom tips
organize your closet
how to fix a leaky faucet
how to keep a clean kitchen
removing stains from your carpet
Money
how to coupon
what to do when you can’t pay your bills
see if you’re paying too much for your cell phone bill
how to save money
How to Balance a Check Book
How to do Your Own Taxes
Health
how to take care of yourself when you’re sick
things to bring to a doctor’s appointment
what to expect from your first gynecologist appointment
how to make a doctor’s appointment
how to pick a health insurance plan
a list of stress relievers
how to get free therapy

how to remove a splinter


how to avoid a hangover

Emergency
what to do if you get pulled over by a cop
a list of hotlines in a crisis
things to keep in your car in case of an emergency

how to do the heimlich maneuver

Food
recipes that take 30 minutes or less
Yummy apple thing
Brownie in a cup
Cookie in a cup
French bread pizza
Egg tacos
panera mac n cheese recipe
different salad recipes
harry potter recipes
healthy recipes
various cookie recipes
chocolate cupcakes w/ eggless cookie dough topping
s’mores pie 
nutella hot chocolate
peanut butter nutella swirl cookies
cookie in a mug
starbucks holiday drinks
fruit leathers 
brownie in a mug
how to make ramen 1000x better
eggless cookie dough (not to bake, just to eat)
make recipes using things you already have
how to put together a very fancy cheese plate 
make different flavored lemonades
various desert recipes
make tiny chocolate chip cookies
20 dishes every cook should know
learn how to make your own tea
Macaroni and cheese in a mug
Study snacks (2)
40 on-the-go breakfast recipes
Home
what the hell is a mortgage?
first apartment essentials checklist
how to care for cacti and succulents
the care and keeping of plants 
Getting an apartment
Job
time management
create a resume
find the right career
how to pick a major

how to avoid a hangover

how to interview for a job

how to stop procrastinating

How to write cover letters
Travel
ULTIMATE PACKING LIST
Traveling for Cheap 
Travel Accessories
The Best Way to Pack a Suitcase
How To Read A Map
How to Apply For A Passport
How to Make A Travel Budget
Better You
read the news
leave your childhood traumas behind
how to quit smoking

how to get a book published


how to knit


how to use a polaroid camera


how to solve a rubik’s cube


how to stop biting your nails


how to stop procrastinating


how to stop skipping breakfast


how to stop micromanaging


how to stop avoiding asking for help


how to stop swearing constantly


how to stop being a pushover

learn another language
how to improve your self-esteem
how to sew
learn how to embroider
how to love yourself
learn how to do yoga
100 tips for life
learn how to make your own cards

rosydrops:

Cleaning

Money

Health

Emergency

Food

Home

Job

Travel

Better You

(Source: opulentes, via mentalillnessmouse)

findingmyrecovery:

If you relapsed today IT’S OKAY. Everyone slips and everyone struggles with the recovery process. You are not a failure, weak, or stupid for relapsing. Do not give up on recovery because you slipped up. You can do this.

(via mentalillnessmouse)

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