This blog carries a trigger warning. Proceed with caution.

PLEASE READ THE FAQ AND HELP PAGE BEFORE ASKING! We can not stress that enough. It will save all of us time and trouble. (For mobile users: just type in the URL into your browser and add /FAQ or /help)

Also, please do not say "sorry" for asking a question. We are here to answer what you have to say, do not apologise for doing a good thing for yourself. Thank you.

This is a blog dedicated to those that cut, pinch, bite, burn, bruise, and use other forms of self harm.

This is a safe area for people to vent, express themselves, and even get some advice from our team of lovely Admins. Most importantly, this is for all those that suffer from self harm to feel less alone, that others care, that others understand.

Anybody can submit a problem through either the Ask or Submit boxes. Please understand that we are not always on, if you are in crisis, please call a hotline, the police, your parents, etc.
Am I going crazy? I feel like it. I keep seeing spiders just crawling anywhere out of the corner of my eye and shadows like just down it's 10pm and dark and I was staring at my arm and it looked like a spider was sitting near my elbow and I flipped I keep dreaming about them too and it's horrible. Why could I be seeing these in daylight when there's none there and when I tell my parents there's a spider they tell me there isn't and I get a weird look

It sounds like you are having hallucinations. In that case PLEASE SEE A DOCTOR IMMEDIATELY. That is a SERIOUS medical issue and that needs to be seen by A PROFESSIONAL.

I was high on adderall for the entire last quarter of school pretty much and my ED was at its worst and I was SHing and I didn't talk to anyone and basically I was really horrible at the time but I'm clean/recovering from all of that now but I like this boy and he said (without knowing about all of the above stuff) that he liked me back then and how I acted then but not really like that at all now. What do I do?

If he doesn’t like you now then he doesn’t like you.

End of story. 

Don’t go about changing yourself just to please somebody else. Humans are fickle anyways.

The only important thing is that you focus on getting better and being who YOU want to be. Relationships and people come and go, so don’t tear yourself up over the possibility that one silly boy may like you. AND DO NOT allow yourself to regress in your progress over fickle affections that may not even last. 

What should you do? I’d just shrug, go “eh” and move forwards, I suggest you do something similar. 

~Devin

I feel so stupid. I stuck my hand in a drawer to grab something. I forgot that I'd thrown my razor in there last night when I was high, and now I'm bleeding all over the place and I'm in so much pain and I feel so stupid. I have no excuse for why I'm bleeding and my dad is questioning it. I don't know why I came here, I'm just freaking out I guess.

Well, just make sure you care for the injury. Clean, disinfect, then wrap it up with some clean bandages.

Then, I dunno, grab some tea and move on with things? If you need an excuse, perhaps you can say you tried to grab a knife and slipped? Or you broke a glass?

I made a promise to my boyfriend that I would [try to] stop cutting and I get really bad triggers, what if i slip up? What do I do then? And how do you think he should react? Ive been two months clean but I don't think I can keep it up for long.

I don’t know your boyfriend so I can’t have any clue as to his reactions to a re/lapse/slip.

As to what you should do?

Well, read this

then talk to your boyfriend about what happened. Be honest. Don’t hide it. Don’t brush it under the table. DON’T LIE about it and why. Just be open and honest.

Also, take things day by day. Don’t look at it as every day  you are closer to slipping, rather every day is another day you successfully staved off the urges. Every day is another day you won. This is not a death march, you are not slowly meandering down the path to a precieved end or failure. If you do end up slipping, then you’ve simply had a bad day, a bump in the road, but then you continue along your way with perhaps a bit more knowledge about why it happened and how to prevent it from occurring again.

~Devin

my parents treat my like i worth nothing. my mom tells me that i make everything bad. my dad tells me that i am the reason my mum feels so bad. he says that i am only happy when i made them unhappy. he cut my money off now because "i dont go to school anymore" and i will move out in september. i told him i got a job interview and instead of being happy he says "ok". 1/2

2/2 He says that i should let them live their life without saying anything. but they drink and fuck everywhere and forgot that they actually have a 5 year old son. my dad said “we didn’t drink and do drugs when you were a child, and now look what you have become anyway.” i feel so lost and i dont know what to do the house is a mess. i am tempted to kill myself and my little brother so he doesnt have to grow up with them. but i wont do it but i still have these thoughts…

no to mention that i found a negative pregnancy test from my mum and i remember she got depressed due to a medical abortion. they are too fucking dumb to use birth control and i dont know if she would be mentally able to to another abortion and with 46 she is just too old to get another little baby. im so angry and i just want to punch everything into little pieces.

Hun, I want you to know a few things: YOUR PARENTS ARE FUCKED UP, first and foremost. Secondly, you have the power to change yours and your brother’s life with the right catalyst. And thirdly, I count at least three criminals acts they could be charged with.

I have so much to say about this and it can all be summed up with: “GIVE ME A PLANE TICKET AND LET ME FILL A SACK WITH TOOLS FROM MY MACHINE SHOP ‘CAUSE I HAVE WORK TO DO” or just vague ranty and angry noises.

It goes with out saying that trying to kill yourself is bad and doing so over as worthless pieces of scum your parents are is not worth it. Don’t kill yourself over people that are not even worth the time of day. BUT, trying to kill yourself AND your brother? NO. You can’t make that sort of decision for him and that is murder. That is wrong and murder and wrong. I know it seems like the best thing for your brother (and you), but you can’t take away his life like that. Even though you guys are in just a … unspeakably bad situation, YOU can’t make the decision to take away an entire life

At anyrate here is mine and Drone’s advice: CALL THE POLICE IMMEDIATELY. What they are doing is straight up child abuse. What they are doing is also child endangerment. And to top it off, they have drug use/possession. So that is at least three different charges they can be brought up on and I really really doubt that anybody worth their salt or hell, even with a fourth of a brain will realise that you two can NOT be in that house and take you out of it. 

You said you were planning on moving in September? Why not do it sooner? I know you only have a job interview right now, but  as soon as you have it and it’s feasible I highly suggest you move out.

I also suggest that you don’t bother approaching your parents with things such as the interview. I don’t know them and I don’t know how they’ve treated you over the years, but I know enough to say that /you/ should have guessed what their reaction would have been. What led you to believe that they would even care, much less say, that they are happy or proud that you’ve had an interview and such? To me, you should have counted on dismissal or a wholly negative reaction.

That’s not to say I blame you for trying. I mean, who doesn’t want parental approval or some sort of kind word said about an achievement? It’s beyond fucked up the way they react to things.

So yeah. Please please PLEASE call the police ASAP. Just do it. Tell them you are being abused, your parents drink and do drugs, and that there is a five year old child in the house and they don’t care for him, etc. Tell them EVERYTHING you can.

And no matter how this turns out: cast them from your life. Walk away. Ignore them. Never say a thing to them again. They are not worth your time nor the amount of effort you put into talking about them. They are worth a second of your life.

~Devin

*same person with the girlfriend thing. hum, can't tell.. his father tryna die like 71527 times and my girl's mom throw im in a mental hospital.. same for her friend who was just scraching herself a bit with her nails .. her mom is crazy .. i dont want her to end up in a hospital just because her mom trear her like a 2old child and because she is homosexual.. and I wont leave her because she is getting way better then before .. last night was just a down that I couldnt control .. fml ..

sorry but please take a look at your grammar next time because it’s sometimes hard to understand for me. okay? thank you :)

so. you love her, right? You want her to be save, right? Then please watch that she gets professional help as soon as possible. Maybe make her call a crisis hotline. And hell, even if she needs to go inpatient it IS helping since they can make sure she is save there.

also even though her friend “only” scratches (which still is a form of self harm and not to judge) herself, you should talk to her too.

And “just a down” is not a girlfriend threatening to suicide or doing hard drugs. Please. Make. Sure. She. Gets. Help.

I'm a month clean which I'm so proud of but I feel so low and triggered so so often and things in my relationship haven't been great at the moment because i don't know how to handle my feelings and get moody and angry for no reason because I feel so low and he said if I cut he will and I tried to explain tht isn't fair because I don't want to hurt him but it's hard on me and I'm not sure what to do

Ultimatums suck so much and destroy everything. So please think about your relationship again. If he makes you cry more than laugh- overthink. Really.

Write down everything that is triggering you and makes you feel bad. And feel free to look through our help page

my girlfriend is trying to stop cutting but everything makes her want to die.. and if she don't try to die now, she'll do hard drugs tommorrow.. I don't want her to do one or the other .. I don't know what to do.. usualy it doesnt help myself because when she does it.. I .. do it too, because it hurts knowing that I'm not enough to her .. I'm lost.. help me.

Oh gosh no just no.

Please tell her parents ASAP. About the suicide plan AND the drugs. And then, really, overthink your relationship.
There is nothing worse than having a toxic relationship. Threatenings are one of the signs for a toxic relationship. When she is making you feel in any way bad, leave her. Seriously.

So please tell her parents or someone who can have an eye on her and discuss about your relationship again.

Leaving a suicidal person doesnt make you bad. You should not forget that you have to care about yourself too.

-chi

I'm a 124 days clean but I don't know what's been happening to me lately I've just been sad and thinking about cutting for no reason .. I've been wanting to talk to my mom for a while but she seen my cuts once and yelled at me about them being for attention so I'm scared I'll just get in trouble and even if she did take me to the doctors I wouldn't know what to do or say .

Days clean does not mean that you’ve gotten better really. Emotions, thoughts, and intensity of your mental illness will ebb and spike at varrying times, so don’t assume just becuase you’ve managed to not self harm for a few months that you are completely out of the woods yet. Though, that IS an accomplishment so I hope you are proud of yourself, especially if you’ve been having worse urges and not acting on them. It’s tough and if you are managing it, you are doing really fantastically on that front.

I know you are scared, but you need to try talking to her again. A lot of the time, it’s overwhelming for parents and they react… less than perfect the first time they hear about self harming or mental illness, but that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t keep trying.

Try talking to other people, too. Talk to a councillor, call a doctor personally, etc. But keep trying to get somebody to listen and talk to you.

As for figuring out what to say, write a list! And take that list with you. Sometimes reading what you’ve written previous is so much easier than trying to figure it or remember what you wanted to say on the spot.

~Devin

So when people die on tv or in real life, I don't feel sadness. I don't feel grief. I haven't lost many people, but when they do die, I don't feel sad. And for movies and tv shows (TFIOS, The Help, any sad movie or tv show, etc), I don't feel any sadness for people dying. When animals die, I feel sad, but not people. At all. Sometimes I laugh when people die on tv. Is there something wrong with me?

It really depends, tho
If this is normalmor not can only tell you a professional

———————-

I can’t say. Some people are more or less emotional than others. Personally, I’m the type that somebody that has to be VERY close to me for me to feel sad or grieve their death. Sad films and media are just eh to me and I “know” it’s all very sad, but I don’t get upset of them, ya know what I mean?

As for the laughing, I can’t blame you, some of the ways they kill off characters is so damned amusing, even if it wasn’t intended to be.

The best I can tell you is that if you think this is a real issue, then see a psychologist about it. Only they can say if it’s a serious problem or a symptom of something.

~Devin

theangelshavethe-impalaa replied to your post: to the sexuality anon

Thank you for that (im the anon btw) and thanks for correcting my terminology and stuff

No problem dearie :3 I am here to help and will answer any more questions, feel free to ask us/me. :)

This isn't an advice question, but I was just curious as to how many people help run the account?

Me (Devin), Chi, Adrienne, Melody, and occasionally Drone. 

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

crusherccme:

found this gem in the 1996 Cornell Women’s Handbook. it’s what to say when a guy tries to get out of using a condom

(via kawaii-ivy)

Im getting my L's pretty soon but I'm terrified to start driving. When I'm a passenger in a car I can't help but imagine the car speeding up and hitting whatever we're ahead of, and this gives me urges to just take the wheel and do it. But this is what scares me. Im scared that when I'm behind the wheel il get these urges and actually do it. I mean I guess you'd call them suicidal thoughts? But I figure I should possibly tell my driving instructor about it.. Any suggestions on how to mention it?

To be honest. I would better talk to a mental health professional about that and get professional help instead of your driving teacher who probably doesnt know how to react to it and wont be able to do anything against it

-chi

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