Sorry, if I'm being annoying, I just needed to tell somebody. I've been self-harming for a year. I started going to therapy recently, but my family won't stop making me feel shitty. They say that I'm fat/ugly and to go and cut myself. (Cont.)
(Cont.) My therapist talked about it to them too, but they won’t stop. Even I talked to them and told them that when they say things like that, I can’t resist cutting. Not only do they verbally abuse me, but physically too. I don’t know what to do…
…Please tell me you’ve spoken to your therapist about this?
You NEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEED to tell your therapist that your family is emotionally, verbally, and physically abusing you. If you have and your therapist has done nothing, then I really really really need you to call the police and tell them what is going on.
This is REALLY important. You NEED to contact the authorities.
My Mom said "Why don't you just find another family to live with?" And she really angry and serious when she said it. It made me feel so unwanted and worthless. She's said it and simular things several times before and it hurts so bad. I broke down in tears earlier and I feel like shit. I don't have anyone who cares about me, not even my own family. I'm stuck with this awful feeling of hopelessness and sadness. I don't know what to do.
Your mother sounds like scum. Absolute scum.
I would suggest talking to your councillors and friends at school. You need to tell them what is going on and what your mother is doing to you. That is, straight up, a form of abuse.
Family? Family is what you make it. Genetic bonds are not important. The important bonds are those you create yourself. The person that birthed you doesn’t have to matter in your life, and if they are actively hurting you, then you should force them out. They are irrelevant.
So please, talk to somebody about what is happening and see what they can do about it.
If your councillors are not willing to listen, then perhaps you should go to the authorities yourself.
Either way, don’t let your birthgiver make you feel worthless becuase she is irrelevant and not important.
I constantly feel like I am annoying everyone, no matter what. I feel like I'm annoying you right now and I'm sorry. I don't know how to stop this feeling.
I think you need to sit down and figure out what is causing this.
Why do you feel everybody is annoyed by you?
Do you feel like you have nothing to offer others?
Do you feel like they do not like you?
Do you feel like the things you talk about are dull or unimportant?
I want you to know that I very much doubt you are being annoying. Sure, there are times when others can get on one’s nerves, but it is not always so. If you wish, ask the people you need to talk to if they are busy first. If they are not busy, then you probably not bothering them.
Remind yourself that you just CAN’T know what another is thinking. You do not have the ability to read minds. Unless somebody tells you what they feel, you just don’t know. You may be so sure that you are annoying people, but step back and remind yourself that you actually can not.
Even then, even if you /are/ annoying people: it doesn’t matter. If you need to talk to somebody, then talk to them. If you need them to do something, then you need it done. You should not bend to others just for the sake of not causing them a touch of disturbance. YOU come first. YOU always come FIRST. In all things. Don’t go out of your way to hurt people, but YOU will and should ALWAYS come first in your life.
Three days clean...
Ooh that is great! :D Three days is awesome believe it or not. It may seem little right now, but even people three years clean have to start somewhere yes?
So be happy! :D You are starting your journey! You are already learning from it, you are already moving forwards. These are things to be celebrated.
So one of my friends has ana, and right now she's having doctors watch her weight, and making sure that she gains weight. I understand that she needs to eat, but also understand that i cant just "make her eat" and all of this is very upsetting for her. I've never had myself, or someone i knew deal with ana, and I'm not really sure how to support her, and help her recover, if at all possible
No. No. No. Your friend doesnt have “ana”, your friend has anorexia (nervosa). But NOT ana. There is a difference. Anorexia is an illness, and ana is just a stupid idea from some pro-ana people.
But i really think its awesome how you want to help your friend! Talk to her, thats the best thing. Ask her if something is triggering for her or what support her.
Seriously guys, its cool that you want to help, but we dont know your friends. We dont know what they are exactly struggeling with, what they see as bad, or as good. As helpful or triggering. We dont know ‘em.
Talk to her, and very important: have emapthy, and be patient.
(Okay, I don’t mean to edit becuase I don’t need to but damnit I was just about to publish this as well XD )
Please next time say Anorexia or AN instead of Ana. This is simply becuase the pro-Ana “community” has cultivated this disgusting culture where “Ana” is a friend and they encourage people to listen to “Ana”. So please, call it it’s actual name, or the abbreviation of simply due to the negative connotations.
But you can encourage her to keep up on her treatment.
You can encourage to try and eat.
You can encourage her to go to the doctors.
You can listen to her when she needs to talk.
You can learn all you can about her conditions and educate yourself.
You can make her little motivational gifts
You can celebrate when she is doing well
You can support her when she isn’t doing so well
Mostly, do ASK her if there is anything you can do. She may not always have an answer, but it’s important to ask regardless.
I freaking relapsed today. I freaking scratched again. I've been clean for FOUR MONTHS, but my school had a retreat thing today (Catholic schools ya know) and it put me into a deep existential crisis. I saw my freaking tools and it freaking triggered me. I was doing so well and now it's gone.
I wasn’t able to go to a Catholic school when I was younger (though, I realise as a kid I probably wouldn’t have been able to appreciate it like I could now) so I don’t know much about retreats and such.
A re/lapse or even slip is not game over. You don’t have to start over. You just have to keep going forwards. A bump in the road doesn’t mean the end.
Despite going to a Catholic school, I can’t be sure if you actually have faith or not… If you do, then I really urge you to speak to the Father you feel the most comfortable with. Tell him about your worries, and he’ll be able to help give you council, both in general life and in regards to your faith. Look into furthering your knowledge on things. I know for a fact that Catholicism has a lot of beautiful ideas, and if you try to get into things such as Christian mysticism and Cabala can be very interesting and eye opening.
I have one other post about self harm and religion that perhaps may be interesting or relevant?
You probably know this, but it helps to keep reminding yourself but self harm is not going to solve your issues. Any relief you may be getting from it can be attained from more healthy or productive means. Even when it feels the like easiest and best option, please step back and really analyse the situation.
However, becuase you are self harming, and I assume have other issues, I really do suggest that you also talk to your parents and try seeing a doctor. Talk to your teachers, councillor, or priests, parents, etc, but do reach out and get the help you very much deserve.
My teacher called me out in front of the whole class today to ask what happened to my arm, normally people say a cat or dog did it? Me no I panicked and said my goldfish.. I don't want to go in to school tomorrow or ever again..
Things happen and some are just awful at lying under pressure. You just happen to be one of those people.
However, you need to keep going to school, and I’m sure you know that. Practice some meditation and deep breathing in the morning and tonight. Then wear really comfy clothes tomorrow. Keep a little notecard on how to do a short meditation or breathing exercises in your pocket so if you get too stressed you can excuse yourself to the bathroom and relax a little bit.
I think that you really need to call your teacher out on what she did. That was wrong, and rude. Whether she knew it was self harm or not, if one has something to address to another, it should always be done in private.
Go to school, and just try and make it through the day.
Yes, it’s very important to give yourself breaks if you need them, but it’s always important to learn how to over come a bad feeling or anxiety provoking situation. For now, go. Go to school and see how you deal with this.
If it becomes too much and you just literally can not focus or work in school, then it’s time to perhaps take a day or two off and figure out what you are going to do about it.
i'm 5 months clean
That is really fricken awesome! :D Keep it up!
100 days clean (:
Awww yeah! :D That’s awesome. Your awesome. Everything is awesome.
hi devin ily
Hello Anon! And thank you very much :3
i dont know how to help my friend. his dad is super violent and he beats her mom and i dont know what to do to comfort him
Tell him that if he needs a place to say, then he can come stay with you. Arrange it with your parents even. Last year I took in my friend for a few months becuase her home situation was bad and when she finally moved out of my place… man her life really rocked upwards. I honestly believe her getting out legit saved her life. Getting out of an abusive home is LIFE CHANGING.
Also urge him to contact the authorities. Give him time to come to his own decision, but… but if he doesn’t act you may have to leave an anonymous tip to Child Protective Services (or countries equivalent). I am all for giving somebody their autonomy, but this is not one of those cases honestly. There is a limit.
BE THERE for your friend. Listen to what he has to say. Give him a hug if need be. Bring him cookies randomly one day. Continue being his friend. Provide some sort of regularity in his life becuase right now I am sure everything is rocky and spinning and unstable. A bit of normality is going to be so important to him.
I'm four months clean, I use to have ten blades, and now I have six - when I think of hurting my self, I snap up one blade and bin it, it's odd but it works :-)
That is really epic! :D
Congrats on the four months and I think it’s really epic that you toss them like that. Quite an accomplishment in my eyes!
Today I witnessed my sister(who lives in another country but came to visit) having scars all over her arm and I found out she takes antidepressants. I'm hurt and I don't know how to deal with it. Should I ask about the scars?
You can ask if you wish. Just use some tact and don’t be rude about your questioning.
It’s not your illness nor your problem. There really is nothing for you do “deal with” other than coming to accept that your sister has self harmed and has a mental illness. I do, however, encourage you to speak to your sister about both her scars and such, and how you feel.
I found a decent grounding technique... The other day i was taking a bath because i needed to relax and after I was done, I stayed in the tub while the water was draining... you feel heavier and its a weird coping method but it helps